listening to the cure

a forest


the place where i want my body to be found

dead.

this is my fantasy
i think
i imagine
i lust for this thought

what the hell is wrong with me?

in the dark
to hear her voice
into the trees
into the trees





into the trees///////////////


lost in a forest

all alone.

confessions of a depressed, but medicated girl

The truth is, I somehow find comfort in my mental illness. Yes, I said it: Mental Illness. Eff You, that's what it is, and I'm not ashamed to say it. It keeps me from working and functioning many days and definitely affects my personal life. My relationship went to all hell. Well, that is quite another story. You see, my most cherished relationship; she has decided to change her gender identity. Now, does that call for some Xanax or what???

The medications I am taking keep me from crying daily, self-harm, writing mad poetry and thoughts of (and maybe one day ATTEMPTED) suicide. Good. Keep taking the meds, hun. Get rid of the girlfriend and get your ass to work. One day at work, while keeping a stiff upper lip, I had this kind of break-down and had to go in a quiet place and just lose it completely. It was so humiliating. (That was actually during a time when I had let myself and talked myself into thinking 'nah, I don't need to keep taking that shit.' oh, yeah, right!)

So now here I am, 6 weeks later, settling in to some Depakote and some other little pill. Feeling just flat and bored with life.

I'll write more later when I give a damn.

gigi